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In this explosive tell-all memoir, an Olympic figure skater reveals her battle to survive mental illness, eating disorders, and the self-destructive voice inside that she calls "outofshapeworthlessloser.". When Gracie Gold stepped onto center stage (or ice, rather) as America's sweetheart at the 2014 Sochi Olympics, she instantly became the face of America's most beloved winter sport. Beautiful, blonde, Midwestern, and media-trained, she was suddenly being written up everywhere from The New Yorker to Teen Vogue to People and baking cookies with Taylor Swift.. But little did the public know what Gold was facing when the cameras were off. In 2017, she entered treatment for what was publicly announced as an eating disorder and anxiety treatment but was, in reality, suicidal ideation.