A pioneering psychologist reveals how three emotions can provide the surest, quickest route to success in any realm. A string of bestsellers have alerted us to the importance of grit - an ability to persevere and control one's impulses that is so closely associated with greatness. But no book yet has charted the most accessible and powerful path to grit: our prosocial emotions. These feelings - gratitude, compassion and pride - are easier to generate than the willpower and self-denial that underpin traditional approaches to grit. And, while willpower is quickly depleted, prosocial emotions actually become stronger the more we use them. These emotions have another crucial advantage: they're contagious. Those around us become more likely to apply them when we do.
Eamon Dolan/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
By Collins, Judy
A no-holds-barred account of folk legend Judy Collins's harrowing struggle with compulsive overeating and of the journey that led her to a solution.
Since childhood Judy Collins has had a tumultuous, fraught relationship with food. Her issues with overeating nearly claimed her career and her life. For decades she thought she simply lacked self-discipline. She tried nearly every diet plan that exists, often turning to alcohol to dull the pain of yet another failed attempt to control her seemingly insatiable "cravings." Today, Judy knows she suffers from an addiction to sugar and grains, flour and wheat. She adheres to a strict diet of unprocessed foods, consumed in carefully measured portions. This solution has allowed her to maintain a healthy weight for years, to enjoy the glow of good health, and to attain peace of mind. Alternating between chapters on her life and those of the many diet gurus she has encountered along the way (Atkins, Jean Nidetch of Weight Watchers, Andrew Weil, to name a few) , Cravings is the culmination of Judy's genuine desire to share what she's learned - so that no one has follow her heart-rending path to recovery.
Nan A. Talese
The Food Addiction Recovery Workbook
By Ross, Carolyn Coker
Isn't it time you got off the diet treadmill? In The Food Addiction Recovery Workbook, physician Carolyn Coker Ross offers the proven-effective Anchor Program™ to help you curb cravings, end body dissatisfaction, manage stress and emotions without food, and truly satisfy your soul.When it comes to addiction, abstinence isn't always the answer - and with food addiction, this is especially true. And yet, for decades nutritional experts have dissected the problem of obesity, and the result has been a series of recommendations about what and how much to eat. When "eating too much fat" was thought to cause obesity, grocery store shelves exploded with low-fat products. Next came the low carb craze that led us to fear eating all carbohydrates, and with it came another assortment of fad products and diets.
New Harbinger Publications
The Opposite of Hate
By Kohn, Sally
At a moment when we are facing an epidemic of incivility and hate - with divisive political speech, online trolling, and hate crimes escalating - popular CNN commentator Sally Kohn sets out to discover why we hate and how can stop it.
As a progressive commentator on Fox News and now CNN, Sally Kohn has made a career out of bridging intractable political differences, learning how to talk civilly to people whose views she disagrees with passionately. Famously "nice," she even gave a TED Talk about what she termed emotional correctness. But these days, even Kohn has found herself wanting to breathe fire at her enemies.
It was time, she decided, to look into the ugliness erupting all around us. In The Opposite of Hate, Kohn talks to leading scientists and researchers, investigating the evolutionary and cultural roots of hate and how simple incivility can be a gateway to much worse. She travels to Rwanda, to the Middle East, and across the United States, introducing us to terrorists, white supremacists, and even some of her own Twitter trolls, drawing surprising lessons from these dramatic examples - including inspiring stories of those who left hate behind. As Kohn boldly confronts her own shameful moments, whether it's the girl she bullied as a child or her own deep partisan resentment, she points the way toward change.
No one is more poised to lead us out of this wilderness of hate than Sally Kohn. Her engaging, fascinating, and often funny book will open your eyes and your heart.
By Garcia, Hector
The internationally bestselling guide to the Japanese concept of ikigai - the happiness of always being busy - as revealed by the daily habits of the world's longest-living people
"Only staying active will make you want to live a hundred years." - Japanese proverb
According to the Japanese, everyone has an ikigai - a reason for living. And according to the residents of the Japanese village with the world's longest-living people, finding it is the key to a happier and longer life. Having a strong sense of ikigai - the place where passion, mission, vocation, and profession intersect - means that each day is infused with meaning. It's the reason we get up in the morning. It's also the reason many Japanese never really retire (in fact there's no word in Japanese that means retire in the sense it does in English) : They remain active and work at what they enjoy, because they've found a real purpose in life - the happiness of always being busy.
In researching this book, the authors interviewed the residents of the Japanese village with the world's highest percentage of 100-year-olds. Ikigai reveals the secrets to their longevity and happiness: how they eat, how they move, how they work, how they foster collaboration and community, and - their best-kept secret - how they find the ikigai that brings satisfaction to their lives. And it provides practical tools to help you discover your own ikigai. Because who doesn't want to grow old while being forever young?
Never Get Angry Again
By Lieberman, David J
Never Get Angry Again is New York Times and internationally bestselling author David J. Lieberman's comprehensive, holistic look at the underlying emotional, physical, and spiritual causes of anger, and a practical guide to what the reader can do to gain perspective.
David J. Lieberman understands that a change in perspective is all that is needed to help keep from flying off the handle. In Never Get Angry Again, he reveals how to see anger through a comprehensive, holistic lens, illuminates the underlying emotional, spiritual, and physical components of anger, and gives the readers simple, practical tools to snuff out anger before it even occurs.
Take a deep breath and count to ten. Meditate. Visualize your happy place.
You've probably heard all of these anger management techniques and more from friends, family, and experts, but somehow they miss the mark when it comes to coping with the complex emotion of anger.
Let's face it: if anger-management techniques were effective, you wouldn't be reading this book. These clumsy attempts to maintain calmness are usually futile and sometimes emotionally draining. The fact is, either something bothers us (causing anxiety, frustration, or anger) , or it doesn't. A state of calm is better accomplished by not becoming agitated in the first place. When we fight the urge to blow up or melt down, we fight against our own nature.
St. Martin's Press
The State of Affairs
By Perel, Esther
[*Read by the author - Esther Perel]
Iconic couples' therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.
Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart -- what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented and so too the prohibition against it -- in fact, it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored taboo, universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat -- even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.
For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage -- with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.
Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, ''Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.''
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
By Eddy, Bill
Some difficult people aren't just hard to deal with - they're dangerous.
Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems?
When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders - borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic - they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake.
But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques,Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to:
- Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself. - Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life. - Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs.
Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.
By Nicolino, Venus
Heads up; You're about to get a shitload of #GoodAdvice.
For anyone fed up with the shrink-wrapped bullshit that passes for self-help these days, Bad Advice offers a fiercely smart wake-up call from relationship expert and larger-than-life TV personality Dr. V. Tackle some of self-help's most damaging truisms and unpack strategies for real transformation with this fiercely smart and never shy guide to tapping into your full potential.
When you're heartbroken, what do you hear? You can't love anyone until you love yourself. When someone's hurt you? Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission. When you're just a little too positive? Expectations lead to disappointment.
Simultaneously smart and irreverent, Dr. V fuses the brains and insight of a nerdy Ph.D. with the heart of a doting Italian Mother and the artful profanity of a Philly trucker. Dr. V's signature combination of humor, hard science and heart make Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullsh*t an iconoclastic course-correction like no other. It's the antidote to Bad Advice: Good Advice (duh) . Bad Advice doesn't offer a one-size-fits-all answer to life's problems--it empowers you to find your own answers.
By Sonenshein, Scott
A groundbreaking approach to succeeding in business and life, using the science of resourcefulness.
We often think the key to success and satisfaction is to get more: more money, time, and possessions; bigger budgets, job titles, and teams; and additional resources for our professional and personal goals. It turns out we're wrong.
Using captivating stories to illustrate research in psychology and management, Rice University professor Scott Sonenshein examines why some people and organizations succeed with so little, while others fail with so much.
People and organizations approach resources in two different ways: "chasing" and "stretching." When chasing, we exhaust ourselves in the pursuit of more. When stretching, we embrace the resources we already have. This frees us to find creative and productive ways to solve problems, innovate, and engage our work and lives more fully.
Stretch shows why everyone - from executives to entrepreneurs, professionals to parents, athletes to artists - performs better with constraints; why seeking too many resources undermines our work and well-being; and why even those with a lot benefit from making the most out of a little.
Drawing from examples in business, education, sports, medicine, and history, Scott Sonenshein advocates a powerful framework of resourcefulness that allows anybody to work and live better.
By Jaffe, D J
This well-researched and highly critical examination of the state of our mental health system by the industry's most relentless critic presents a new and controversial explanation as to why--in spite of spending $147 billion annually--140,000 seriously mentally ill are homeless, 365,000 are incarcerated, and even educated, tenacious, and caring people can't get treatment for their mentally ill loved ones. DJ Jaffe blames the mental health industry and government for shunning the 10 million adults who are the most seriously mentally ill--mainly those who suffer from schizophrenia and severe bipolar disorder--and, instead, working to improve "mental wellness" in 43 million others, many of whom are barely symptomatic. Using industry and government documents, scientific journals, and anecdotes from his thirty years of advocacy, he documents the insane consequences of these industry-driven policies: psychiatric hospitals that once served the seriously ill have been closed; involuntary commitment criteria have been narrowed to the point where laws now require violence rather than prevent it; the public is endangered; and the mentally ill and their families are forced to suffer.
The Unmade Bed
By Marche, Stephen
A candid work of nonfiction from provocative Esquire columnist Stephen Marche - with interjections from his wife, writer Sarah Fulford - exploring the complicated, changing relationship between men and women in today's society.We are in the middle of a revolution of everyday life, one that can be found everywhere that men and women coexist. In the office. In families. In houses. On the street. Online. In bed. As we encounter each of these situations, we ask ourselves: Who has the power? How much can we say? What are we expected to sacrifice? Is it possible to be equal? The conversation about the relationship between men and women - both in our individual lives and as a society - has never been louder. Now, with a refreshing and honest voice, Stephen Marche delivers his vision for what true equality between men and women really means and what it could look like.
Simon and Schuster
By Filipovic, Jill
What do women want? It's a time-old question, but if you head out into America and talk to women one-on-one, as Jill Filipovic has done, you discover that what they want is happiness. Despite what recent books, articles, or tv shows would have you believe, real women are less concerned about "having it all," "leaning in," or "settling for 'Mr. Good Enough.'" Unsurprisingly, the way to achieve happiness is as varied as the realities they face.
In The H Spot, Filipovic argues that the main obstacle standing in between women and happiness is a rigged system. In this world of unfinished feminism, men have long been able to "have it all" because of free female labor, while the bar of achievement for women has gotten higher - never before have we had to work so much at every level (whether it's to be an accomplished white-collar employee or just make ends meet) , and never before have the requirements for being a "good mother" been so extreme. If our laws and policies made women's happiness and fulfillment a goal in and of itself, she explains, so many contentious issues would be resolved with one fell swoop-from women's health to equal pay.
Filipovic illustrates this argument by asking women across America what it is they need, Filipovic provides an outline for a feminist movement we all need: one that provides a blueprint for how policy, laws and society can deliver on the promise of the pursuit of happiness for all.
Alive at Work
By Cable, Daniel M
We've all seen the oft-cited Gallup poll that reports that an alarming majority of the workforce is disengaged and unmotivated.In Alive at Work, social psychologist Dan Cable argues that the reason for all the unhappiness is biological: organizations, in an effort to routinize work and establish clear-cut performance metrics, are suppressing what neuroscientists call our Seeking Systems. This is the part of our brains that craves exploration and learning, and that gives us hits of dopamine when we follow its urges.The good news is that organizations can activate our Seeking Systems, and, as Cable explains, it doesn't take extensive overhauls to their cultures to do so. With small changes, managers and leaders can make meaningful impacts on our lives and restore our zest for work.
Harvard Business Review Press
By Jamison, Leslie
"An astounding triumph . . . Profound . . . Achingly wise . . . A recovery memoir like no other." --Entertainment Weekly (A) "Riveting . . . Beautifully told." --Boston Globe "An honest and important book . . . Vivid writing and required reading." --Stephen King "Perceptive and generous-hearted . . . Uncompromising . . . Jamison is a writer of exacting grace." --Washington Post From the New York Times bestselling author of The Empathy Exams comes this transformative work showing that sometimes the recovery is more gripping than the addiction. With its deeply personal and seamless blend of memoir, cultural history, literary criticism, and reportage, The Recovering turns our understanding of the traditional addiction narrative on its head, demonstrating that the story of recovery can be every bit as electrifying as the train wreck itself. Leslie Jamison deftly excavates the stories we tell about addiction--both her own and others'--and examines what we want these stories to do and what happens when they fail us. All the while, she offers a fascinating look at the larger history of the recovery movement, and at the complicated bearing that race and class have on our understanding of who is criminal and who is ill. At the heart of the book is Jamison's ongoing conversation with literary and artistic geniuses whose lives and works were shaped by alcoholism and substance dependence, including John Berryman, Jean Rhys, Billie Holiday, Raymond Carver, Denis Johnson, and David Foster Wallace, as well as brilliant lesser-known figures such as George Cain, lost to obscurity but newly illuminated here. Through its unvarnished relation of Jamison's own ordeals, The Recovering also becomes a book about a different kind of dependency: the way our desires can make us all, as she puts it, "broken spigots of need." It's about the particular loneliness of the human experience-the craving for love that both devours us and shapes who we are. For her striking language and piercing observations, Jamison has been compared to such iconic writers as Joan Didion and Susan Sontag, yet her utterly singular voice also offers something new. With enormous empathy and wisdom, Jamison has given us nothing less than the story of addiction and recovery in America writ large, a definitive and revelatory account that will resonate for years to come.