Notes from the Vault

This month’s tornado was a new experience for me.  And I pondered over it for quite a while over the course of four electricity-free days, barricaded with Beaumont in the servants’ quarters.  For those of you suggesting that I would be more comfortable in my own room, my response is yes and no.  Yes, because my room is considerably bigger, has a lovely view of the graveyard, and of course all my books are there.  No, because I had a whole horde of angry fiends who somehow thought it was my fault that the Vault had no electricity and they were looking for answers.  I thought it best to lay low.

Now, I would consider myself fortunate that I’ve not had a lot of opportunities to play with extreme weather.  Sure, we might have more storms at the Vault than in surrounding areas, but that’s just part of the territory of running a spooky old castle in the middle of “Scaresville”.  I once dodged a hurricane in Florida (my plane returned to Cleveland hours before Charlie hit in 2004), and I worked the evening of the big white-out blizzard in 2016 (I believe I showed The Birds that night).  But, I can’t say that I’ve actually been in the vicinity of a tornado before this one.

If you’re ever at the library during a tornado, we have plenty of places to hide out, including the trash room, which is where I was (it was a little stinky, but perfectly safe).  The hallway door into the main library was open and I could see the wind tearing through the Reading Garden from where I was standing.  While I wouldn’t call it fun, I also wouldn’t call it boring.

In the Vault, we also have a disastrous weather plan.  And it mostly involves us redirecting a horde of monsters into the lower dungeons.  The paving stones are wet and slimy, the air thick and musty, and most everything is covered in dust.  If you’re lucky, you might find a bone or a book of arcane knowledge to play with, but for the most part, you’ll just sit around in the dark with the rest of us, silently guessing which pair of glowing eyes belongs to something hungry and which eyes belong to something well-fed.  And of course, there’s the inevitable question of what other hungry creatures are in the room, but invisible to you.  I suggest you don’t think too hard about those ones.  It’s only going to make you nervous and of course, they can smell fear.

At our last meeting, we watched Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1936).  For those of you who missed the meeting, let me tell you a little bit about the film.  This chiller tells the story of Sweeney Todd, a mad barber who cuts the throats of his customers in order to steal their valuables.  This story has been told and retold many times, including most recently as a musical.  Several of you asked me (with obvious apprehension) if this was going to be a musical, too, and I’m happy to inform the more orthodox in our ranks that no, there was no singing involved.  I still remember the accusing looks I got from fiends when Arthur Lucan burst into song during our showing of My Son the Vampire back in 2019, and I was not eager to repeat the experience, haha.

This was certainly a unusual meeting for us, too, as it took place the day after the big storm event.  Depending on the source, we had something in the range of five tornados touch down near Westlake, and many people (your humble Hostess included) were without power for days (see my column, From the Hostess).  The library, as a result, had become a hub of activity as people not only stopped by for books, movies, music, and other materials, but also for air conditioning, internet, and outlets.  In fact, the meeting room hallway was filled with people charging devices and surfing the web.  I had invited them to join in the fun (popcorn, drinks, and a scary movie—what more could you want?) but every single one declined.  Perhaps I was smiling too broadly?  I’ve been told on multiple occasions that humans don’t like it when you show so many teeth.  Or maybe I should have stopped rubbing my hands together and gigging maniacally?  Either way, we had a decent turnout with no fresh blood (A lucky 13 fiends in total). 

We’ll wrap this section of the newsletter up with our familiar faces…or should I say, lack of familiar faces.  We didn’t have a single repeat offender, a reality which is becoming harder and harder to believe as we add more movies to our collection.  That being said, I did find a few juicy titles staring Tod Slaughter, so keep an eye out for him, as I have a feeling he’ll crop up again in our voting for future flix.

There’s something genuinely chilling about a killer in a trusted profession.  Generally speaking, when you go to get your hair cut, you don’t expect to have your throat cut, too.  And when I go to the store to buy groceries, I don’t expect the cashier to come at me with an ax.  I suppose that’s what makes Sweeney Todd such a good villain—he’s dangerously unexpected.  Of course, I suppose you can’t say that now.  Now, just the sight of a man with an apron and a straight razor is enough to put everyone’s hair on end, whether you need a shave or not!

If you want to see where the trope started, consider checking out the original tale, A String of Pearls.  It’s over 1000 pages long, but you can read it online or as an ebook through Hoopla or Project Gutenberg.  I’m currently reading it myself (albeit, very slowly).  The story is quite absurd so far, and there is a lot going on.

If you’re made of stronger stuff and you want to try the musical, there are a few different versions you could try.  First, there’s the movie with Johnny Depp which is probably the one that everyone thinks of when you mention Sweeney Todd.  I’ve not seen this version myself, but I’d like to recommend the stage production with George Hearn and Patti LuPone.  There’s another production with a much younger George Hearn and the darling Angela Lansbury.  I prefer Hearn’s performance when he’s a little older, but both productions are excellent and worth watching (if you like musicals).

I also just finished reading a very funny play for the story as well. This one is definitely closer to the Tod Slaughter film than to the musical, so if you’re cool with reading scripts and don’t want something you’d have to sing along to, then you might dig this one as well.  We don’t have it in our collection (more’s the pity), but you can borrow it via OhioLink.

Thank you for joining us for another piece of classic horror!  I look forward to seeing you all next time.  In our next film, a couple of bumbling American cops travel to the UK for a little extra training.  But, the duo is called into action quicker than expected when there are reports of a mad killer on the loose.  To make things worse, the pair has no idea that their newfound friend, Dr. Jekyll, is actually the dangerous criminal, Mr. Hyde!