Back up to go forward : we are neglecting three essential communication habits -- Invert your expectations : expect less from technology and more from people -- Lose your friends : important relationships are being trumped by people you barely know -- Stop talking : hyper-communication is the problem, not the solution -- Don't be yourself : it's an excuse for neanderthal behavior -- Play dumb : don't pin the tail on the donkey -- Question your questions : questions make many conversations worse -- Ignore your (tell-tale) heart : it wants you to talk without a plan -- Don't solve problems : you are messing around with far too many issues already -- Blow things off : protect what matters by letting go of what doesn't -- Let difficult people win : stop trying to impose your will on tough communicators -- Respond with weakness : bring a stick to a knife fight -- Overlook people -- Change the underlying conditions, not the person -- Take things off the table : just because you can talk about something doesn't mean that you should -- Be boring : most conversations are exciting for all the wrong reasons -- Give people what they want : few things connect like a story.