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Summary
Summary
At a time when 'defining the relationship' is more complicated than ever, Dr. Nikki Goldstein's fresh and fun approach to dating and relationships will instill readers with a new level of confidence, positivity and excitement as they traverse the modern dating landscape.
The intersection of real world and digital world situations experienced by today's dater can be confusing and overwhelming. InSingle But Dating, Australia's most in-demand sexologist and relationship expert, Dr. Nikki Goldstein, dispenses invaluable advice on how to tackle a broad variety of relevant topics like how to let go of outdated beliefs around what it means to be single, how to become technosexually savvy, how to know if you are overtexting, when to enact a man-ban and how to deal with new dating phenomena likeghosting.
Statistics show that women are staying single longer than ever before, prioritizing their professional and financial power over their domestic and reproductive power. That's what makesSingle But Dating so timely - it is a crucial guide book for any woman navigating the (sometimes frustrating) dating world full of new rules and distractions. With a surprising mix of some time-tested oldies but goodies, thought-provoking exercises and fresh, forward-looking advice, Dr. Nikki equips single-but-dating women with the tools they need to learn to love both themselves and the wild ride of 21st century dating.
"Single But Dating is the perfect book for any woman seeking mindful guidance on her romantic journey.
Dr. Nikki is like a wise big sister who will hold your hand through the dating process and encourage you to be unapologetic about what you desire in your relationships. Learn to awaken your authentic self and build the best love life for you.
This book will help you date with confidence and have a lot of fun along the way!"
-Gabrielle Bernstein, #1 New York Times Bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back
Author Notes
Dr. Nikki Goldstein is Australia's Modern Day Expert on all things relating to sex and relationships. She has a unique ability to normalize the subjects of sex and relationships and her fresh, balanced and candid views make her instantly relatable and approachable. She holds a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, a Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling and a Doctorate of Human Sexuality; she is a highly credible authority on the topics of love, sex, dating, romance and relationships. Coming from a background as a family mediator who assisted in the process of divorce, she has an understanding of what makes and breaks relationships. She appears across many media avenues such as TV, Radio, Podcast and Magazines both in the US and Australia.She also keeps busy regularly posting new tips and advice on her website - www.drnikki.com.au.Twice voted Australia's Best Sex Educator, she's young, bright, honest and has lived many years of her life as a Single-But-Dating (SBD) woman.
Reviews (2)
Publisher's Weekly Review
Goldstein, a sex and relationships counselor in Australia, parlays her personal and professional experience in the field of romance into an empowering how-to manual for young women looking to play the field. Goldstein, an "open-minded heterosexual female who predominantly dates men," gears her advice toward her own demographic. Her goal is to combat the negative associations of the label "single" by encouraging readers to navigate their personal lives with confidence and self-awareness, with the goal of happiness. The book fits in the traditional confines of relationship self-help, with exercises and lesson plans at the end of each chapter, but Goldstein's advice is refreshingly modern and unapologetically candid. The chapter on confidence encourages readers to reflect on the relationship between their sense of self-worth and the media they consume. The chapter on sex explores the fluidity of sexuality while also addressing logistics-for example, she writes that the style of pubic hair is a personal choice that "is more about our body confidence than about a partner's pleasure." The best chapters deal with manners and how technology changes the way people date, flirt, and communicate. Goldstein keenly observes that online dating makes us "distracted and disposable." Her book is filled with practical tips, and is a much-need antidote to the ills of dating today. (Apr.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Kirkus Review
A debut guide offers safe and effective dating strategies for the single woman. In this highly modern take on female singlehood, Goldstein, a well-known Australian doctor of human sexuality who also has a background in family mediation, asks her readers to examine their own histories, desires, and motives as they embrace the "single but dating" lifestyle. As a not traditionally "paired" but sexually active woman, the author noticed that the "single" designation often seemed to elicit pity or shame, but none of the other options (in Facebook parlance, In a Relationship, Married, or It's Complicated) applied either. She presents the term SBD as shorthand for a lifestyle in which a woman is actively engaged in relationships with the opposite sex. This can include sexual encounters that are extremely casual as well as others that move more slowly and/or have more emotional involvement. Goldstein speaks from experience. Beyond her doctorate and family mediation career, she also personally explored the SBD life and her own perspectives on it, ultimately undergoing important growth and finding a long-term, fulfilling relationship. The book conveys the convincing message that SBD women will do well to seek true self-confidence by understanding their own conditioning, wants, and needs and by learning how to communicate honestly and adroitly with potential or actual partners. This frank and detailed guide succeeds at delivering a balanced discussion of many relationship types, sexual pleasures, and common-sense cautions. A diverse array of often skirted topicssuch as sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation, pregnancy risk, egg freezing, and sexual fantasiesis deftly handled alongside considerations of how to communicate meaningfully, avoid dangerous personality types, move on after a breakup, and recognize the readiness for a serious relationship. The first several chapters provide useful exercises in self-exploration, such as jotting down "shoulds" and "should nots" of dating and identifying external sources of these expectations (for example, family, friends, or media). Social media and communication via texting and even sexting, realities of today's dating scene, are covered skillfully and extensively as well. Savvy, contemporary, and worthwhile advice on the many facets of the dating life for women. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Table of Contents
Introduction | p. 1 |
Chapter 1 "I've a Feeling Were Not in Kansas Anymore" | p. 17 |
Chapter 2 I Love Me | p. 45 |
Chapter 3 Let's Talk About Sex, Baby | p. 65 |
Chapter 4 Cummunicating | p. 89 |
Chapter 5 Where Did All the Men Go? | p. 99 |
Chapter 6 Technosexually Savvy | p. 129 |
Chapter 7 Mind Your Manners | p. 145 |
Chapter 8 (Man)Handling SBD Situations | p. 167 |
Chapter 9 What's Next | p. 193 |
Acknowledgments | p. 201 |