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Summary
Summary
The seventeen key principles for transforming conflict--in a beautiful package from the creator of The 48 Laws of Power
From Joost Elffers, the packaging genius behind the huge New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power , The 33 Strategies of War , and The Art of Seduction , comes this invaluable manual that teaches seventeen fundamentals for turning any conflict into an opportunity for growth. Beautifully packaged in a graphic, two-color format, Changing the Conversation is written by conflict expert Dana Caspersen and is filled with real-life examples, spot-on advice, and easy-to-grasp exercises that demonstrate transformative ways to break out of destructive patterns, to create useful dialogue in difficult situations, and to find long-lasting solutions for conflicts. Sure to claim its place next to Getting to Yes , this guide will be a go-to resource for resolving conflicts.
Author Notes
DANA CASPERSEN is an expert on conflict studies and mediation who has developed conflict workshops and public dialogue projects internationally. She is also an award-winning performing artist and lives in Germany and Vermont.
JOOST ELFFERS is the packager of The 48 Laws of Power as well as Optical Illusions , Play With Your Food , and Viking Studio's Secret Language series. He lives in New York City.
Reviews (1)
Booklist Review
Conflict generally leads to endless cycles of attack, counterattack, and more conflict as we fail to get to the root of the underlying problems. Conflict mediator Caspersen offers 17 principles of conflict resolution in a highly graphic book that juxtaposes typical reactions and suggested alternatives that will ease tension and lead to resolution. The reader is encouraged to see conflict as a moment of opportunity. Instead of hearing an attack, which makes you ignore additional information that may be offered, listen for what is behind the words. Instead of acting on assumptions, test them. Instead of adopting a rigid stance, develop curiosity. Instead of ignoring the possibility of future conflict, expect and plan for future conflict, including a more productive response. Caspersen offers examples of conflict from arenas as varied as home, school, and work as well as exercises to help resolve frictions. The objective is to facilitate listening and speaking, acknowledge emotions, and look for ways forward out of conflict.--Bush, Vanessa Copyright 2010 Booklist
Table of Contents
| Introduction | p. xii |
| Anti-Principles & Principles | p. xviii |
| Facilitate Listening and Speaking | p. xx |
| 1 Don't hear attack. Listen for what is behind the words | p. 9 |
| 2 Resist the urge to attack. Change the conversation from the inside | p. 23 |
| 3 Talk to the other person's best self | p. 37 |
| 4 Differentiate needs, interests, and strategies | p. 49 |
| 5 Acknowledge emotions. See them as signals | p. 71 |
| 6 Differentiate between acknowledgment and agreement | p. 91 |
| 7 When listening, avoid making suggestions | p. 105 |
| 8 Differentiate between evaluation and observation | p. 117 |
| 9 Test your assumptions. Relinquish them if they prove to be false | p. 129 |
| Change the Conversation | p. 140 |
| 10 Develop curiosity in difficult situations | p. 145 |
| 11 Assume useful dialogue is possible, even when it seems unlikely | p. 155 |
| 12 If you are making things worse, stop | p. 175 |
| 13 Figure out what's happening, not whose fault it is | p. 187 |
| Look for Ways Forward | p. 200 |
| 14 Acknowledge conflict. Talk to the right people about the real problem | p. 205 |
| 15 Assume undiscovered options exist. Seek solutions people willingly support | p. 217 |
| 16 Be explicit about agreements. Be explicit when they change | p. 227 |
| 17 Expect and plan for future conflict | p. 239 |