Unknown Title

Title:

Modern loss : candid conversation about grief : beginners welcome / Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner ; illustrations by Peter Arkle.

Author:

Soffer, Rebecca, author.

Birkner, Gabrielle, author.

ISBN:

9780062499189

9780062499196

Personal Author:

Soffer, Rebecca, author.

Edition:

First edition.

Physical Description:

xxiii, 355 pages : color illustrations ; 22 cm

Content Type:

text

Media Type (RDA):

unmediated

Carrier Type:

volume

Contents:

Introduction / Collateral damage: But wait, there's more? -- Introduction / A wake / The would-bes / The second third child / There won't be blood / Mother figure / Things to know before scattering ashes / Triggers: What sets us off might surprise you -- Introduction / A little to the left / When Mom kan't keep up with the Kardashians / Brain games / Thanksgiving after Jack / The barren field / The dos and don'ts of building your crew -- Intimacy: 1 -- 1 + 1 =? -- Introduction / Meet the twins: grief and desire / Are you my Papi? / What's good enough now / Taboo times two / The promise / Guess who's (not) coming to dinner": surviving small talk after a loss / Identity: who we were and who we've become -- Introduction / Four little words, one big meaning / Dad-die issues / The dead-brother code switch / Making peace with my mother's whiteness / Just say Uncle / Survivor gilt: creative ways to use what's left behind instead of banishing it to storage purgatory / Inheritance: property of -- Introduction / Icky Pop / Honey, don't screw up the namesake / The accidental archivist / Under the house / Uncle Ron / There's no will, what the bleep do I do now? / Data: loss (and found) in the digital universe -- Introduction / My husband's death went viral, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt / Confessions of a gmail hoarder / Unrecovered / Meeting Patricia, Aunt Esther's Amazon alter ego / A brief guide to griefspeak -- Secrets: what they didn't tell us, and what we aren't telling others -- Introduction / My dad husband, the serial adulterer / Practice imperfect / And the Oscar goes to ... / Forever younger / F is for forgiveness / Work life, after loss -- Journeys: where we've headed but not necessarily ended up -- Introduction / My wedding gown's last dance / Where the heart no longer is / Feet, pain, love / From a purple room to the Obama White House / Art imitates loss / Patches / Shit people say, but really shouldn't -- Absence + time: what comes later -- Introduction / David / Considering the alternatives / The deathday-birthday / Double digits

Abstract:

"Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics."--Amazon.com summary.

Subject Term:

Genre:

Added Author:

Format:

Books

Available:*

Library	Item Barcode	Shelf Number	Status
Searching... Lockport Public Library	34094004563857	155.937 SOFF	Searching... Unknown

Bound With These Titles

On Order

Summary

Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics.

At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map.

Let's face it: most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.

Enter Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss, responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve, identify, and--above all--empathize.

Soffer and Birkner, along with forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer, and CNN's Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty "how to" cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message.

Brutally honest and inspiring, Modern Loss invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome.

Reviews (1)

New York Review of Books Review

CATNIP By Michael Korda. (Countryman Press, $14.95.) Korda, a presidential biographer, has always loved doodling. When his wife, Margaret, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2016, he started producing a sketch a day for her - featuring one of their cats, Ruby, Kit Kat or Tiz Whiz - silly, whimsical drawings he never imagined would be collected like this after her death. JANE ON THE BRAIN By Wendy Jones. (Pegasus Books, $27.95.) A psychotherapist and an English professor, Jones wears both hats simultaneously to describe why Jane Austen's novels appeal to the human brain, which craves sociability. MODERN LOSS Edited by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle (Harper Wave, $24.99.) Love is not the only human experience so common it is endlessly fascinating in its permutations - so is loss. Soffer and Birkner, who both had parents die tragically when they were young, understand this. First with a website, and now this book, they have collected moving, emotional and oftentimes funny essays about how grief can enter and change your life. EAT LIKE WALT By Marcy Carriker Smothers. (Disney Editions, $35.) The corn dogs and banana splits at Disneyland are part of its kitschy appeal. But how did that particular American cuisine get there? Like all else at the park, Walt Disney is in the details. This strangely fascinating book lays out his thinking as well as some recipes - from Adventureland's "Pineapple Polynesian Ribs" to Main Street, U.S.A.'s "Potato Salad." A GOOD COMB By Muriel Spark. (New Directions, $11.95.) A collection of the author's sayings and aphorisms, which includes such gems as, "It is impossible to persuade a man who does not disagree, but smiles." "With modern workplace culture being interrogated anew, I'm plunging back into THE GIRLS IN THE OFFICE, by Jack Olsen: a fascinating if lamentably out-of-print 1972 collection of interviews with 15 pseudonymous female employees of a Manhattan organization referred to simply as the Company. With its frequent alcoholic 'pours' this Company suspiciously resembles the old Time Inc., for which Olsen was once Midwest bureau chief. The colorful, forthcoming subjects include the 20-something Bettye McCluin ('overskilled, sexy, aloof') and the 'fading jet set cosmopolite' Callia Bartucci. A prolific writer and father of seven who died in bed at 77 with a magazine on his chest, the author specialized in true crime. His oral history - a genre practiced with more transparency by Studs Terkel and Jean Stein - favors lurid detail and despair, like a nihilistic sequel to the Rona Jaffe novel 'The Best of Everything.' But it serves as powerful documentation of an era when women were institutionally subordinate, squabbling over the terms of their own liberation. How much has changed . . . and how little." - ALEXANDRA JACOBS, FEATURES EDITOR, ON WHAT SHE'S READING.

Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle BirknerRebecca SofferAnthony KingEileen SmithEric MeyerRuby DutcherElizabeth PercerTré Miller RodríguezGabrielle BirknerAmanda PalmerKate SpencerChamique HoldsclawAnna Whiston-DonaldsonHelen ChernikoffRebecca SofferEmily Rapp BlackMathew RodriguezLaNeah "Starshell" MenziesAlice RadoshMattie J. BekinkRebecca Shaloff and Modern LossGabrielle BirknerMichael FlaminiYassir LesterRachel SklarAmy Mihyang GintherMichael ArceneauxStacy LondonRebecca SofferSara Faith AltermanDavid SaxSpencer MerollaJulie SatowKim GoldmanAmanda ClaymanRebecca SofferNora McInernyBrian StelterMeg TanseyJoey ChernilaGabrielle BirknerRobyn WoodmanRachel M. WardCatherine FennellyCaroline WaxlerHaley TannerRebecca SofferLucy KalanithiJacqueline MurekateteSarah FoxMarisa Renee LeeMichael Greif as told to Rebecca SofferTanzila AhmedGabrielle BirknerElisa AlbertArtis HendersonNikki ReimerNishta J. Mehra

Introduction	p. xiii
Collateral Damage: But Wait, There's More?	p. 1
Introduction	p. 3
A Wake	p. 11
The Would-Bes	p. 17
The Second Third Child	p. 21
There Won't Be Blood	p. 27
Mother Figure	p. 31
Things to Know Before Scattering Ashes	p. 38
Triggers: What Sets Us Off Might Surprise You	p. 41
Introduction	p. 43
A Little to the Left	p. 49
When Mom Kan't Keep Up with the Kardashians	p. 57
Brain Games	p. 63
Thanksgiving After Jack	p. 67
The Barren Field	p. 71
The Dos and Don'ts of Building Your Crew	p. 76
Intimacy: 1 − 1 + 1 = ?	p. 79
Introduction	p. 81
Meet the Twins: Grief and Desire	p. 87
Are You My Papi?	p. 93
What's Good Enough Now	p. 97
Taboo Times Two	p. 103
The Promise	p. 109
Guess Who's (Not) Coming to Dinner? Surviving Small Talk After a Loss	p. 114
Identity: Who We Were and Who We've Become	p. 117
Introduction	p. 119
Four Little Words, One Big Meaning	p. 125
Dad-die Issues	p. 133
The Dead-Brother Code Switch	p. 137
Making Peace with My Mother's Whiteness	p. 145
Just Say Uncle	p. 149
Survivor Gilt: Creative Ways to Use What's Left Behind Instead of Banishing it to Storage Purgatory	p. 154
Inheritance: Property of:	p. 157
Introduction	p. 159
Icky Pop	p. 165
Honey, Don't Screw Up the Namesake	p. 171
The Accidental Archivist	p. 175
Under the House	p. 179
Uncle Ron	p. 185
There's No Will. What the Bleep Do I Do Now?	p. 190
Data: Loss (and Found) in the Digital Universe	p. 193
Introduction	p. 195
My Husband's Death Went Viral, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt	p. 199
Confessions of a Gmail Hoarder	p. 205
Unrecovered	p. 211
Meeting Patricia, Aunt Esther's Amazon Alter Ego	p. 215
A Brief Guide to Griefspeak	p. 222
Secrets: What They Didn't Tell Us, and What We Aren't Telling Others	p. 225
Introduction	p. 227
My Dead Husband, the Serial Adulterer	p. 231
Practice Imperfect	p. 237
And the Oscar Goes to ...	p. 241
Forever Younger	p. 247
F Is for Forgiveness	p. 251
Word Life After Loss	p. 255
Journey's: Where We've Headed but Not Necessarily Ended Up	p. 257
Introduction	p. 259
My Wedding Grown's Last Dance	p. 265
Where the Heart No Longer Is	p. 273
Feet, Pain, Love	p. 277
From a Purple Room to the Obama White House	p. 283
Art Imitates Loss	p. 287
Patches	p. 291
Shit People Say, But Really Shouldn't	p. 298
Absence + Time: What Comes Later	p. 301
Introduction	p. 303
David	p. 307
Considering the Alternative	p. 313
The Deathday-Birthday	p. 319
Double Digits	p. 325
Acknowledgments	p. 329
Notes	p. 333
Credits	p. 337

Available:*

Bound With These Titles

On Order

Summary

Summary

Reviews (1)

New York Review of Books Review

Table of Contents