Here are more than 700 of Isaac Asimov's favorite jokes, cleverest limericks and funniest stories.
Publisher: n/a
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60924489
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Bloodsucking Fiends
By Moore, Christopher
When aspiring young writer Tommy Flood meets beautiful Jody on her nocturnal visit to the supermarket, he unwittingly begins an eternal relationship with a vampire.
Publisher: n/a
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9780060735418
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Paperback
The Color of Magic
By Pratchett, Terry
A slightly disorganized and somewhat naive interplanetary tourist named Twosome joins up with a bumbling wizard and embarks on a chaotic voyage through a world filled with monsters and dragons, heroes and knaves, in the first novel in the Discworld series.
Publisher: n/a
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9780060855925
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Paperback
Dad is fat
By Gaffigan, Jim
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children--everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news") , to the eating habits of four year olds ("there is no difference between a four year old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor") . Reminiscent of Bill Cosby's Fatherhood, Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home"--Provided by publisher.
Publisher: n/a
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385349068
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Book
Fool
By Moore, Christopher
"Hilarious, always inventive, this is a book for all, especially uptight English teachers, bardolaters, and ministerial students." - Dallas Morning NewsFool - the bawdy and outrageous New York Times bestseller from the unstoppable Christopher Moore - is a hilarious new take on William Shakespeares King Lear ... as seen through the eyes of the foolish lieges clownish jester, Pocket. A rousing tale of "gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity," Fool joins Moores own Lamb, Fluke, The Stupidest Angel, and You Suck! as modern masterworks of satiric wit and sublimely twisted genius, prompting Carl Hiassen to declare Christopher Moore "a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word."
Publisher: n/a
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60590319
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Hardcover
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You
By Inman, Matthew
TheOatmeal.com's most popular cat jokes, including "How to Pet a Kitty" and "The Bobcats," plus 15 new and never-before-seen catthemed comics, are presented in this hilarious collection from New York Times best-selling author Matthew Inman, a.k.a. TheOatmeal.com. Includes pull-out poster!Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is included at the back of the book.
Publisher: n/a
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1449410243
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Paperback
Lamb
By Moore, Christopher
The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer) .Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
Publisher: n/a
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9780380813810
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Paperback
Sh*t My Dad Says
By Halpern, Justin
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.
Publisher: n/a
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9780061992704
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Hardcover
What If?
By Munroe, Randall
From the creator of the wildly popular webcomic xkcd, hilarious and informative answers to important questions you probably never thought to ask.Millions of people visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroes iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have a large and passionate following.Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions. What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90 percent the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there was a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last?In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, complemented by signature xkcd comics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion.The book features new and never-before-answered questions, along with updated and expanded versions of the most popular answers from the xkcd website. What If? will be required reading for xkcd fans and anyone who loves to ponder the hypothetical.
Publisher: n/a
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544272994
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Hardcover
Yeah, I Said It
By Sykes, Wanda
Yeah, I Said It ...about President George W. Bush: "Sometimes I feel like we're trapped on a bad reality show. He's not really a president. He's a construction worker. If he gets reelected, he gets a million dollars and we get screwed." Michael Jackson: "He sti
Asimov Laughs Again
By Asimov, Isaac
Here are more than 700 of Isaac Asimov's favorite jokes, cleverest limericks and funniest stories.
Bloodsucking Fiends
By Moore, Christopher
When aspiring young writer Tommy Flood meets beautiful Jody on her nocturnal visit to the supermarket, he unwittingly begins an eternal relationship with a vampire.
The Color of Magic
By Pratchett, Terry
A slightly disorganized and somewhat naive interplanetary tourist named Twosome joins up with a bumbling wizard and embarks on a chaotic voyage through a world filled with monsters and dragons, heroes and knaves, in the first novel in the Discworld series.
Dad is fat
By Gaffigan, Jim
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children--everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news") , to the eating habits of four year olds ("there is no difference between a four year old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor") . Reminiscent of Bill Cosby's Fatherhood, Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home"--Provided by publisher.
Fool
By Moore, Christopher
"Hilarious, always inventive, this is a book for all, especially uptight English teachers, bardolaters, and ministerial students." - Dallas Morning NewsFool - the bawdy and outrageous New York Times bestseller from the unstoppable Christopher Moore - is a hilarious new take on William Shakespeares King Lear ... as seen through the eyes of the foolish lieges clownish jester, Pocket. A rousing tale of "gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity," Fool joins Moores own Lamb, Fluke, The Stupidest Angel, and You Suck! as modern masterworks of satiric wit and sublimely twisted genius, prompting Carl Hiassen to declare Christopher Moore "a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word."
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You
By Inman, Matthew
TheOatmeal.com's most popular cat jokes, including "How to Pet a Kitty" and "The Bobcats," plus 15 new and never-before-seen catthemed comics, are presented in this hilarious collection from New York Times best-selling author Matthew Inman, a.k.a. TheOatmeal.com. Includes pull-out poster!Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com.How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is included at the back of the book.
Lamb
By Moore, Christopher
The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer) .Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
Sh*t My Dad Says
By Halpern, Justin
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.
What If?
By Munroe, Randall
From the creator of the wildly popular webcomic xkcd, hilarious and informative answers to important questions you probably never thought to ask.Millions of people visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroes iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have a large and passionate following.Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions. What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90 percent the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there was a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last?In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, complemented by signature xkcd comics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion.The book features new and never-before-answered questions, along with updated and expanded versions of the most popular answers from the xkcd website. What If? will be required reading for xkcd fans and anyone who loves to ponder the hypothetical.
Yeah, I Said It
By Sykes, Wanda
Yeah, I Said It ...about President George W. Bush: "Sometimes I feel like we're trapped on a bad reality show. He's not really a president. He's a construction worker. If he gets reelected, he gets a million dollars and we get screwed." Michael Jackson: "He sti