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A hilarious, entertaining, and illuminating compendium of the most bizarre ways you might become a federal criminal in America - from mailing a mongoose to selling Swiss cheese without enough holes - written and illustrated by the creator of the wildly popular @CrimeADay Twitter account. Have you ever clogged a toilet in a national forest? That could get you six months in federal prison. Written a letter to a pirate? You might be looking at three years in the slammer. Leaving the country with too many nickels, drinking a beer on a bicycle in a national park, or importing a pregnant polar bear are all very real crimes, and this riotously funny, ridiculously entertaining, and fully illustrated book shows how just about anyone can become - or may already be - a federal criminal.