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Ever, These letters are often all that get me through week to week. Even if its just random stuff, nothing important, theyre important to me. Gramps is great, and I love working on the ranch. But ... Im lonely. I feel disconnected, like Im no one, like I dont belong anywhere. Like Im just here until something else happens. I dont even know what I want with my future. But your letters, they make me feel connected to something, to someone. I had a crush on you, when we first met. I thought you were beautiful. So beautiful. It was hard to think of anything else. Then camp ended and we never got together, and now all I have of you is these letters. S**t. I just told you I have a crush on you. HAD. Had a crush. Not sure what is anymore. A letter-crush? A literary love? Thats stupid. Sorry. I just have this rule with myself that I never throw away what I write and I always send it, so hopefully this doesnt weird you out too much. I had a dream about you too. Same kind of thing. Us, in the darkness, together. Just us. And it was like you said, a memory turned into a dream, but a memory of something thats never happened, but in the dream it felt so real, and it was more, I dont even know, more RIGHT than anything Ive ever felt, in life or in dreams. I wonder what it means that we both had the same dream about each other. Maybe nothing, maybe everything. You tell me. Cade ~ ~ ~ ~ Cade, Were pen pals. Maybe thats all well ever be. I dont know. If we met IRL (in real life, in case youre not familiar with the term) what would happen? And just FYI, the term you used, a literary love? It was beautiful. So beautiful. That term means something, between us now. We are literary loves. Lovers? I do love you, in some strange way. Knowing about you, in these letters, knowing your hurt and your joys, it means something so important to me, that I just cant describe. I need your art, and your letters, and your literary love. If we never have anything else between us, I need this. I do. Maybe this letter will only complicate things, but like you I have a rule that I never erase or throw away what Ive written and I always send it, no matter what I write in the letter. Your literary love, Ever