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An award-winning poet's "beautifully written" (The Seattle Times) portrait of an American family and his own coming of age in the 1960s and 1970s in the wake of his father's suicide. This memoir "belongs on the special shelves we keep for the books we cannot quite forget" (George Hodgman) .The fifth of eight children, Chris Forhan was born into a family of secrets. He and his siblings learned, without being told, that certain thoughts and feelings were not to be shared. On the evenings his father didn't come home, the rest of the family would eat dinner without him, his whereabouts unknown, his absence pronounced but unspoken. And on a cold night just before Christmas 1973, long after dinner, the rest of the family asleep, Forhan's father killed himself in the carport.