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A textured, sharply written memoir about coming of age in the fourth decade of one's life and embracing one's truest self in a world that demands gender fit in neat boxes. . From the outside, Oliver Radclyffe spent four decades living an immensely privileged, beautifully composed life. As the daughter of two well-to-do British parents and the wife of a handsome, successful man from an equally privileged family, Oliver played the parts expected of him. He checked off every box - marriage, children (four) , a white-picket fence surrounding a stately home in Connecticut, and a golden retriever named Biscuit.. But beneath the shiny veneer, Oliver was desperately trying to stay afloat as he struggled to maintain a facade of normalcy - his hair was falling out in clumps, he couldn't eat, and his mood swings often brought him to tears.