About this item
The past millennia or so has seen not only an uptick in human attacks, but also increasingly indiscriminate victim selection. It is understandable to feel overwhelmed. From renowned preternaturalist K. E. Flann, How to Survive a Human Attack provides critical information at a critical time with chapters specifically tailored to their target audience, including: A Zombie's Guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward First-Time Haunter's Guide for Ghosts, Spirits, Poltergeists, Specters, and Wraiths Self-Training 101 for Werewolves: Sit, Don't Speak, Stay Alive! What's Happening to My Body: Radioactive Mutants and the Safety of the Nuclear Family
About the Author
Renowned preternaturalist, K.E. Flann, holds PhD's in disciplines that include Covert Forestry, Urban Disorganization, Robust Outdoor Pursuits, Human Husbandry & Management, and Inter-dimensional Cooperation. At the Ministry of Preternatural Resources, Flann serves as Cranial Impact Assessment Officer, drawing upon years of experience with paved areas, including Food Lion and the gas station, to ensure safe passage for visitors to the human world. During a distinguished career, Flann designed activities now accepted as best practice for introducing preternatural beings to their surroundings - these include human petting zoos, chasing demonstrations, and audio tours with rentable headsets. The beautiful Preternature Center is where Flann declines to answer questions from school children, the general population, or workers servicing the snack machines. With the exception of occasional guided public hikes to botanical landfills, during which visitors can collect parking fees, Flann maintains a general disconnect from human society. This lack of commitment provides the trustworthy voice on which supernatural, mutant, and AI beings have come to rely for objective guidance. Inspired by Roman thinker, Juvenal, who famously said, "It is difficult not to write satire," Flann eschews difficulty by penning work for McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, Frazzled, Greener Pastures, Monkeybicycle, and other publications.
