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A provocative guide to the hidden dangers of "parentspeak" - those seemingly innocent phrases parents use when speaking to their young children. Imagine if every time you praise your child with "Good job!" you're actually doing harm? Or that urging a child to say "Can you say thank you?" is exactly the wrong way to go about teaching manners? Jennifer Lehr is a smart, funny, and fearless writer who "takes everything you thought you knew about parenting and turns it on its ear" (Jennifer Jason Leigh) . Backing up her lively writing and arguments with research from psychologists, educators, and organizations like Alfie Kohn, Thomas Gordon, and R.I.E. (Resources for Infant Educarers) , Ms. Lehr offers a conscious approach to parenting based on respect and love for the child as an individual.