About this item
Michelle Stevens has a photo of the exact moment her childhood was stolen from her. In it, she's only eight years old and posing for her mother's beguiling boyfriend, Gary Lundquist - an elementary school teacher, neighborhood stalwart, and brutal pedophile. Later that night, Gary locks Michelle in a cage, tortures her repeatedly, and uses her to quench his voracious and deviant sexual whims. Michelle can also pinpoint the moment she reconstituted the splintered pieces of her life. Just a few years after being confined to a mental hospital and at the mercy of an alternate personality who kept trolling for sadistic men, she's in cap and gown receiving her Ph.D. in psychology - and the university's award for best dissertation. The distance between these two points is the improbable journey from torture, loss, and mental illness to recovery that is Michelle Stevens's powerful memoir, Scared Selfless. Gary Lundquist kept Michelle as his sex slave for six years. During that time, he waged a campaign of unimaginable cruelty. He pimped her out to countless men for prostitution and forced her to perform in "kiddie porn" when it was legal and shown in Times Square. It took fifteen years, three hospitalizations, and multiple suicide attempts for Michelle to work through Gary's dark legacy. She suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , anxiety, depression, and developed multiple personalities. There was "Chelsey," the rebellious teenager who told her boss to shove it; "Vicious," a tween with homicidal rage; and "Sarah," a sweet little girl who brought her teddy bear on a first date. In this harrowing yet unflinching look at her own experience, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, the psychological effects on its victims and best methods for healing, based on her own struggle with PTSD and dissociative identity disorder (more commonly known as multiple personality disorder) . Scared Selfless is an examination of the extraordinary - and inexplicable - feats of the mind in the face of unspeakably horrifying trauma and the story of Michelle's courageous road to healing, recovery, and triumph.
About the Author
As a psychologist and survivor of horrific child abuse, Dr. Michelle Stevens is in a unique position to write and speak on the subject of trauma. Her dual roles as therapist and patient allow her to comprehend psychological issues from the inside out and the outside in. This gives her an uncanny ability to explain the complicated nuances of trauma in ways that are accessible to a broad audience. She strives to use this gift to educate others on the effects of abuse and violence, while inspiring survivors to overcome their pain.
After suffering more than ten years of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse at the hands of a sadistic pedophile and the sex ring to which he belonged, Michelle escaped and went on to study writing at New York University. She earned her doctorate in psychology from Saybrook University, where her thesis was honored as the "Dissertation of Distinction." Dr. Stevens is Founder and Executive Director of Post-Traumatic Success, a non-profit organization that provides education and inspiration to those affected by psychological trauma. Her writing about trauma has appeared in TIME, PEOPLE, PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, THE HUFFINGTON POST, and THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER.
As a counselor, Dr. Stevens has been honored to help hundreds of survivors of child abuse through her work in private practice and at various social service organizations. She has spoken publicly about overcoming child abuse to organizations around the globe, encouraging survivors to fight for better lives.
