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"Jake Gerhardt's debut novel is sweet, knowing, and a super-fun read. Takes you right back to the awkwardness and earnestness of adolescence, with a lot of cringe and even more laughs." - Patton Oswalt, New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and actorThey each have 33% chance with her, but she's 0% interested.Meet Sam, the comedian; Duke, the intellectual; and Chollie, the athlete. Their fates converge at Penn Valley Middle as each falls desperately for the enigmatic Miranda Mullaly - the girl who smiles like she means it, the girl who makes Christmas truly magic when she sings, the girl who ... barely realizes her admirers exist! Small misunderstandings lead to big laughs, and beneath the humor, every attempt to win Miranda's favor becomes a compelling look at the larger world of each guy's life.