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In this important and conversation-starting book, veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar offers a provocative and compelling premise: a mother's emotional and physical presence in her child's life--especially during the first three years--means that her child has a greater chance of growing up emotionally healthy, happy, secure, and resilient. When that essential presence goes missing, the child is at higher risk for social, emotional, and developmental issues, both immediate and long term. Compassionate and balanced, and focusing on the emotional health and well-being of children as well as that of the mothers who care for them, this book shows mothers and fathers how to give their children the best chance for developing into healthy and loving adults. Based on more than two decades of clinical work, established psychoanalytic theory, and the most current and cutting-edge neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, the book explains:- How to establish emotional connection with a newborn or young child--regardless of whether you're able to pause your career to stay home- How to select and train quality childcare if necessary--and how to ease transitions and minimize stress for your baby or toddler- What's true and false about widely held beliefs like "Babies are resilient" and how to combat feelings of post-partum depression or boredom- Why three months of maternity leave is not long enough--and how women and their partners can take control of their choices to provide for their family's emotional needs in the first three years