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From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Do the Work comes this paradigm-shifting guide to healing your relationships, beginning with the one you have with yourself.Relationships have always been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, whether familial, romantic, or platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often at the root of our deepest suffering. While our hearts are primed for compassionate connection, our nervous systems - which store all our past hurts and disappointments - are wired for threat and negativity. For decades, leading relationship advice has maintained that successful relationships require a specific compromise - that we must change our authentic expression to better meet the needs of others, and vice versa.