About this item
Through research into the unique ways women talk to one another, this warm and wise exploration of female friendship will help women lean into the comfort these powerful relationships offer and avoid the hurt feelings that come from common miscommunications. Best friend, old friend, good friend, bff, college roommate, neighbor, workplace confidante: Women's friendships are a lifeline in times of trouble and a support system for daily life. A friend can be like a sister, daughter, mother, mentor, therapist, or confessor - or she can be all of these at once. She's seen you at your worst and celebrates you at your best. Figuring out what it means to be friends is, in the end, no less than figuring out how we connect to other people. In this illuminating and validating new book, #1 New York Times bestselling author Deborah Tannen deconstructs the ways women friends talk and how those ways can bring friends closer or pull them apart. From casual chatting to intimate confiding, from talking about problems to telling what you had for dinner, Tannen uncovers the patterns of communication and miscommunication that affect friendships at different points in our lives. She shows how even the best of friends - with the best intentions - can say the wrong thing, and how words can repair the damage done by words. Through Tannen's signature insight, humor, and ability to present pitch-perfect real-life dialogue, readers will see themselves and their friendships on every page. The book explains * the power of women friends who show empathy, give advice - or just listen * how women use talk to connect to friends - and to subtly compete * how "Fear of Being Left Out" and "Fear of Getting Kicked Out" can haunt women's friendships * how social media is reshaping communication and relationships Drawing on interviews with eighty women of diverse backgrounds, ranging in age from nine to ninety-seven, You're the Only One I Can Tell gets to the heart of women's friendships - how they work or fail, how they help or hurt, and how we can make them better. Praise for Deborah Tannen You're Wearing THAT?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation "Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations." - San Francisco Chronicle "Tannen has a gifted ear for the meaning behind the words. She helps us hear what we are really saying." - The Baltimore Sun "The effect of [Tannen's] anecdotes and analysis is to reassure her readers that they are not alone." - The Wall Street Journal "[This] book might help all of us open our eyes." - Chicago Sun-TimesYou Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation "Utterly fascinating . . . a classic in the field." - San Francisco Chronicle "Refreshing and readable . . . vivid examples and lively prose." - The New York Times Book Review "Tannen has a marvelous ear for the way real people express themselves, and a scientist's command of the inner structures of speech and human relationships." - Los Angeles Times
About the Author
Deborah Tannen is the acclaimed author of You Just Don't Understand, which was on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly four years including eight months as #1; the ten-week New York Times bestseller You're Wearing THAT? : Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation; I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs and Kids When You're All Adults, which won the Books for a Better Life Award; Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work; That's Not What I Meant!; and many other books. A professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, she has written for and been featured in newspapers and magazines such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, USA Today, Time, and Newsweek. She appears frequently on TV and radio, including such shows as 20/20, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Colbert Report, Nightline, Today, Good Morning America, and NPR's Morning Edition and All Things Considered. She is university professor and professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, and has been McGraw Distinguished Lecturer at Princeton University. She lives with her husband in the Washington, D.C., area.